Geoffrey Morrison

Burbling quietly as it rolls down the back of the flatbed truck, the Panamera appears an expansive stretch of undulating blue sheet metal. With nary a paper to sign, the delivery driver hands me the keys and says, “have fun” with a wry smirk.

Because it amuses me (and probably my neighbors), I park it next to my 1975 Porsche 914, which cost me a hair north of 1% of the sticker price of its great-great-grand sibling.

It’s going to be a good week.

I had no intention of seeing Titanic in 3D. This wasn’t a “Hmmm, should I” type decision. At no point was the option of going to a theater and seeing this movie in faux-3D a valid option in my brain. It was up there with “run marathon,” “time travel,” and “read Twilight” on the list of things I know I will never do.

Well, last night I saw it — James Cameron’s retrofitted 3D masterpiece. And you know what, I expected to hate it. . . and didn’t. As someone who reviews 3D crap — sorry “stuff” — for a living, here’s my take.

One of the most common requests I get by email, and in comments on reviews, is to share what picture settings I’ve used to achieve the best image.

To put it bluntly: no. This isn’t because my settings are some big secret, it’s because I honestly believe sharing them is a bad idea, and I’d be doing more harm than good.

And once I list the reasons why, you may even agree with me.